The Twisty, Briar-Covered Path

This is a very brief history of all the women that I have loved or felt emotions for, starting from the beginning. Their names will be protected, unlike my heart.

First Grade-
G-My first kiss. It was on the playground. I tickled her until she kissed me. Later I did something stupid and that was the end of that.

Second Grade-
B-We couple-skated at the rollerskating rink. I think we kissed. Whoopee.

Sixth Grade-
L-She lived in my neighborhood and I was awestruck. I went to her house on lazy afternoons. I made her laugh. Eventually I tickled her and got one, sweet, everlasting kiss. She moved soon after.

Eighth Grade-
L-She was a complete diz. All the guys wanted her, probably just because that's what our raging hormones were goading our confused brains into thinking. I used to walk her home. I think I accidentally felt her boob once. It wasn't that great.

Ninth Grade-
JC-I fell hard for her. She was the coolest, most beautiful, entrancing creature ever to walk the face of the earth. She had big hair and smelled awesome in her cloud of perfume that I can still pick out of a crowd to this very day. We dated for a week and then I got the ominous note of doom. I still think about her from time to time, but she's married now.

Senior Year-
B-I think I was more amazed by her than in love with her, but she sure made an impression on me. We had a good evening on graduation but I think it scarred me more than anything. I have no idea where she is these days. I'm not so impressed anymore either.

Summer after Senior Year-
R-Went to SGSA and met R there. GEEE-GADS, this girl was the hottest formation of a human ever. She still makes me squirm. Some clueless, lucky SOB is out there cheating on her and verbally abusing her right now, there's no doubt in my mind.

College-
J-Probably the one I should've stuck with but I managed to completely screw it up. She was by far the coolest chick I've ever been fated to hang around. Our time together was innocent and pure. I cringe at my selfish actions.

K-One of the most self-centered people I've ever met. She cheated on me and verbally embarassed me in front of friends for sport. I say now to the world: she had three nipples. Take that you a-hole.

Real World (Post College)-
J-My longest, deepest, and most promising relationship. We ended up growing into friends from lovers. I still respect her and talk to her frequently. She's awesome and I cherish most of the time spent together.

P-My first writer girlfriend. She left for school out of state and things dissolved. I'm glad it is over, honestly.

B-One dangerous chick, a true game of russian roulette. I saw her boob once and it hooked me for a long time. She was fire, desire, danger, sin, and intrigue. I let her poison me for too long. She introduced me to Icy J.

K-This is the one I truly wanted to be with, the one who made me hot and excited and attentive and believe that things like true love and fate was for real. I wholeheartedly believe that I'm still in some state of love for K. She had me from the moment she looked at me and she still has a part of me. I simply found her and knew, but dumbass fate didn't know and I got burned, ruined, and destroyed. Twice. This trainwreck put me in an awful self-defeatist mode, which contributed to the next relationship implosion. K, oh K, you bleed me still.

Icy J-My downfall, my heart given to someone, my attempt at a family and normalcy and society standards of maturing. The exact opposite situation happened and my life fell apart...truthfully both of our lives fell apart...and I'm still putting the pieces back together. The only person I've ever proposed to and, perhaps, the only one I will ever propose to.

A-A haphazard blunder of two lonley folks trying to find some kind of contentment. She will remain in my thoughts most likely forever because I never knew that I could feel emotions of kindness, infactuation, or connection again after Icy J. But I found all of those in A, just trapped inside a broken timeframe of rules and regulations and placement of importance.

Makes me wonder who is next...