Lately

Lately I've been so out of everything letterboxing-wise. I
don't do shhhhheeeeeeite about the stamps I need to
carve, the boxes I need to maintain, the folks I need
to write.

So, I've been drawing lately. It helps me let out the
bs and focus on something else. Plus it is something I
rarely do.

I come home from work and I open a beer and
I read the funnies in the paper and I mosey through the
house and miss my cat and I sit down at my drafting
table and stare at what I drew the night before. Then
I get up and smoke a cig and finish that beer and grab
another one and go to the table and start drawing.
When I find a stopping point, I grab the beer and
finish that.

Then I turn on the computer and check my
e-mail. Sometimes I never get to the computer part, I
just drink, smoke, and draw. And it keeps me from
being too sad and that, as Martha says, is a good thing.

Sleep is open to interpretations and the sheets seem fearful to me
with their clutched and wrinkled expressions in the morning. I
recall strange images and want to maim and/or destroy the
alarm clock.

And then I wake up to a shower and Marta and work ID
badges and towering buildings and hurried folks,
throngs of them. And I'm one of them. And I like that
a lot.

And then it is elevators and signing in on the
computer and hellos, the coffee scene, grab some new work and
begin. And the next time I register time it is lunch.

And lunch is funny and silly and short and then it is back to
work. And somewhere about 3pm I start to hurt from or
for her and then it is signing out and Marta and a mile walk home
from the beer store and then a beer and then my
drawing...and maybe whispered words in my ear...or
maybe it is the leftovers from my dreams, I cannot tell.
I miss your words.